


Break Away

by Bannerific (Nellethiel)



Series: Of Science and Soldiers - 100 One-Shots [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blogging, Child Abuse, M/M, One Shot, Science Boyfriends, Science Bros, Therapy, Violence, Written while watching Spongebob, therapeutic writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2248350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellethiel/pseuds/Bannerific
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce's new therapist suggested he keep a private journal.<br/>Surprisingly contains no references to the Kelly Clarkson song of the same name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rosetta (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/gifts).
  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Break Away](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2333123) by [Rosetta (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Rosetta)



My head hurts. Again. I've noticed that the longer I go without an incident, the more often I get these headaches. I mean, I guess it's worth it. I would rather have the worst migraine ever every day for the rest of my life than risk accidentally destroying someone or something irreplaceable. Does that make any sense?

I don't know who I'm talking to. This blog is set to private, anyway. Not that anyone would be interested. Who wants to hear me whine? I don't even want to hear it. I'm just writing this because my therapist gave me homework. Like I'm fucking twelve.

I didn't even want to see a therapist. But Director Fury insisted. Said it would be good for me to "loosen up a little". Whatever the hell that means. I'm sure he means well. He just... he doesn't get it. No one really does.

But anyway, he sent me to a therapist after what happened last month. Some asshole had a team of other assholes and they were threatening to blow up a bank. Or was it a courthouse? I don't even remember now. But basically we were supposed to go in and Stop the Villains, and the Other Guy was doing okay at first, very lucid and everything, and then this dad was sort of shouting at his kid for crying, and it was different from a "this is a dangerous situation and it is imperative that you listen to me" kind of thing and more of a "you little shit I'm going to fuck you up if you embarrass me one more time" kind of thing, and then he smacked him pretty hard, and the Other Guy sort of lost it, I guess. I don't remember any of what happened, though for some reason my therapist is trying to get me to remember. But I guess Hulk sort of handed the kid to Steve and then... flung the dad across the room. He sort of... broke his skull. Why the hell Doctor Strangelove wants me to remember shit like that, I have no idea. The doctors told us he'd be fine, after they'd finished stapling his head back together. Great.

I guess I... the Other Guy was starting to go for the dad again and Tony tried to stop him, and when he wouldn't go away, Hulk grabbed hold of him and started dismantling his suit. Just ripping chunks off of it and flinging them. That's never happened before. After that first thing on the helicarrier, I've never laid a finger on anyone fighting beside me. That is, the Other Guy hasn't.

But this time something snapped and he just... broke away.

Luckily, a good hard thwack with Mjolnir to the face was enough to get the Other Guy distracted for long enough that Tony could get away. But if it hadn't....

NO.

Don't think like that, Banner. You know it doesn't do any fucking good.

Right, just keep telling yourself that it's totally okay that you almost destroyed your best friend in a fit of rage.

I mean, _he_ keeps telling me it's okay, but yesterday...

Yesterday I may or may not have gotten incredibly frustrated in the lab and made some sort of growling noise and thrown my books on the floor. And Tony jumped about a thousand feet. And then when I looked up at him he took this involuntary step backward. I'm basically positive that he didn't even notice he'd done it.

Fuck.

It's never going to work. Never.

He can flirt all he wants but it's never going to work.

It's not that I don't enjoy the attention.  
It's not that I don't like the guy. A lot.  
It's not that if my situation was different, I wouldn't jump his bones in a heartbeat.

But it isn't different. It's better than it ever was before but it's not different.

I don't know how I get myself into these shitty situations.  
I don't know why I put myself through this.  
I should just leave. I should pack all my shit and leave right now.  
Tonight.

Get a flight out to somewhere in Africa and then rent a car and drive until I run out of gas and then find the nearest hole and curl up in it and lie there for the rest of time.

Yeah.

Who am I kidding? I've told myself that three times already this week.

I'd never make it out the front door.

Somehow, Tony always knows.

I guess... I guess that's okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to jaclcskellington (tumblr) for picking this prompt. :D


End file.
